Chapter XII
Carl came into the sitting-room while Alexandra was lighting the lamp. She looked up at him as she adjusted the shade. His sharp shoulders stooped as if he were very tired, his face was pale, and there were bluish shadows under his dark eyes. His anger had burned itself out and left him sick and disgusted.
"You have seen Lou and Oscar?" Alexandra asked.
"Yes." His eyes avoided hers.
Alexandra took a deep breath. "And now you are going away. I thought so."
Carl threw himself into a chair and pushed the dark lock back from his forehead with his white, nervous hand. "What a hopeless position you are in, Alexandra!" he exclaimed feverishly. "It is your fate to be always surrounded by little men. And I am no better than the rest. I am too little to face the criticism of even such men as Lou and Oscar. Yes, I am going away; to-morrow. I cannot even ask you to give me a promise until I have something to offer you. I thought, perhaps, I could do that; but I find I can't."
"What good comes of offering people things they don't need?" Alexandra asked sadly. "I don't need money. But I have needed you for a great many years. I wonder why I have been permitted to prosper, if it is only to take my friends away from me."
"I don't deceive myself," Carl said frankly. "I know that I am going away on my own account. I must make the usual effort. I must have something to show for myself. To take what you would give me, I should have to be either a very large man or a very small one, and I am only in the middle class."
Alexandra sighed. "I have a feeling that if you go away, you will not come back. Something will happen to one of us, or to both. People have to snatch at happiness when they can, in this world. It is always easier to lose than to find. What I have is yours, if you care enough about me to take it."
Carl rose and looked up at the picture of John Bergson. "But I can't, my dear, I can't! I will go North at once. Instead of idling about in California all winter, I shall be getting my bearings up there. I won't waste another week. Be patient with me, Alexandra. Give me a year!"
"As you will," said Alexandra wearily. "All at once, in a single day, I lose everything; and I do not know why. Emil, too, is going away." Carl was still studying John Bergson's face and Alexandra's eyes followed his. "Yes," she said, "if he could have seen all that would come of the task he gave me, he would have been sorry. I hope he does not see me now. I hope that he is among the old people of his blood and country, and that tidings do not reach him from the New World."
philoenglish菲利英语是一款在线英语学习工具, 范围包括在线查词, 在线背单词, 英语听力, 阅读等多个维度. 产品支持移动端, PC端, 以及智能电视, 无需安装, 真正做到随时随地想学即学.
Part I. The Wild Land - Chapter I
Part I. The Wild Land - Chapter II
Part I. The Wild Land - Chapter III
Part I. The Wild Land - Chapter IV
Part I. The Wild Land - Chapter V
Part II. Neighboring Fields - Chapter I
Part II. Neighboring Fields - Chapter II
Part II. Neighboring Fields - Chapter III
Part II. Neighboring Fields - Chapter IV
Part II. Neighboring Fields - Chapter V
Part II. Neighboring Fields - Chapter VI
Part II. Neighboring Fields - Chapter VII
Part II. Neighboring Fields - Chapter VIII
Part II. Neighboring Fields - Chapter IX
Part II. Neighboring Fields - Chapter X
Part II. Neighboring Fields - Chapter XI
Part II. Neighboring Fields - Chapter XII
Part III. Winter Memories - Chapter I
Part III. Winter Memories - Chapter II
Part IV. The White Mulberry Tree - Chapter I
Part IV. The White Mulberry Tree - Chapter II
Part IV. The White Mulberry Tree - Chapter III
Part IV. The White Mulberry Tree - Chapter IV
Part IV. The White Mulberry Tree - Chapter V
Part IV. The White Mulberry Tree - Chapter VI
Part IV. The White Mulberry Tree - Chapter VII
Part IV. The White Mulberry Tree - Chapter VIII