TWO Blighted Beings, haggard, lachrymose, and detested, met on a blasted heath in the light of a struggling moon.
"I wish you a merry Christmas," said the First Blighted Being, in a voice like that of a singing tomb.
"And I you a happy New Year," responded the Second Blighted Being, with the accent of a penitent accordeon.
They then fell upon each other's neck and wept scalding rills down each other's spine in token of their banishment to the Realm of Ineffable Bosh. For one of these accursed creatures was the First of January, and the other the Twenty-fifth of December.
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The Blotted Escutcheon and the Soiled Ermine
The City of Political Distinction
The Highwayman and the Traveller
The Legislator and the Citizen
The Mine Owner and the Jackass
The Moral Principle and the Material Interest
The Party Manager and the Gentleman
The Politicians and the Plunder
The Return of the Representative